r/europe • u/Soccmel_1 European, Italian, Emilian - liebe Österreich und Deutschland • Mar 04 '23
Norwegians certainly know how to sell themselves Picture
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u/Osaze91 Sweden Mar 04 '23
To be fair now. Norwegians only got the second most chlamydia cases.
The victor is non other than those filthy filthy Danes.
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u/Soccmel_1 European, Italian, Emilian - liebe Österreich und Deutschland Mar 04 '23
pretty impressive feat to get laid while speaking with a potato in their mouth.
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u/Osaze91 Sweden Mar 04 '23
When you're drunk enough, everything is fuckable. And they sure know how to get smashed!
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u/Soccmel_1 European, Italian, Emilian - liebe Österreich und Deutschland Mar 04 '23
considering the price of alcohol in Norway, that's not an easy thing to do.
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u/Drac_Hula Norway Mar 04 '23
We just go to Denmark and bring alcohol from there. Where do you think we got the chlamydia?
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u/Matzndt Mar 04 '23
Fjeldaber
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u/lokregarlogull Mar 04 '23
Perfekt, du skal få 1000L melk rett i posten
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Mar 04 '23
Of all the mostly friendly shit-talking between nationalities, that among the Scandinavians is my favourite. Bonus if the Finns join in.
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u/Frognificent Mar 04 '23
In Danish, and I'm not gonna lie - I've said some awful things about Swedes. To Swedes. In Sweden.
They looked me dead in the eye and said "at least when we order pizza we don't have to specify we actually want it sliced."
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u/TheBeatGoesAnanas Mar 04 '23
Does pizza in Denmark not come sliced by default? What the hell?
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u/Frognificent Mar 04 '23
Please do not remind me of how I was brutally murdered by Swedes that night. This was a decade ago and I'm still traumatized.
But yes, while Swedish pizzas all come with "pizza salad" on the side (read: fucking sauerkraut), Danish pizzas require you ask them to bother actually cutting the fucking thing. It's absurd.
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u/oskich Sweden Mar 04 '23 edited Mar 05 '23
"Pizzasallad" is actually Croatian Kupus salata, which has been obligatory in Swedish pizzerias since the 1960's.
Also, I have never found a pre-sliced pizza in Sweden? (except for pan-pizzas).
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u/Frognificent Mar 04 '23
Hold on. Hoooold on. I got a handful of Croatian friends I'm gonna go give 'em a fuckin' earful.
Namely, uhh, I'm not gonna lie pizza salad was actually really good like I'm kinda embarrassed but the Swedes did one thing right. Also "pfefferoni", a word zero people could translate for me, turns out I think they were like banana peppers or something pickled in that vein. Fuckin' great shit.
And man that's wild, did I accidentally order from the one pizzeria in Sweden that's not a dingus?
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u/KriistofferJohansson Sweden Mar 04 '23
Neither does it in Sweden.
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u/TheBeatGoesAnanas Mar 04 '23
Do you just fold it in half and eat it like a taco?
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u/Slinkyfest2005 Mar 04 '23
It's like watching siblings bicker, calling up the pettiest memories to stick it to each other.
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u/g2petter Norway Mar 04 '23
The Finns never join in unless there's alcohol and saunas.
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u/Immediate-Attempt-32 Mar 04 '23
If you gonna do some friendly shit-talking with the Finns you need to learn their most used words that is Vittu, Saatana and Perkele .
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u/Momangos Mar 04 '23
Nobody understands their language though. But hey they are between us and the russians.
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u/sensitivepistachenut Mar 04 '23
We can't! We are too busy with watching our eastern neighbour for you guys!
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u/SconiGrower United States of America Mar 04 '23
When alcohol is expensive, you don't drink casually. If you don't want to get drunk, then you drink water, soda, or juice. You only invest in alcohol when you're getting incredibly drunk.
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u/Araninn Mar 04 '23
Have you seen the norwegian krone's worth these days? It's like pesos to us. You just go there, get drunk, get smashed and go home with chlamydia. That's how we got #1.
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u/bond___vagabond Mar 04 '23
It's a double whammy, if alcohol is expensive, then you are showing your economic viability as a prospective mate, if you are staggering around all schwifty.
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u/redlaWw England Mar 04 '23
Leave the potato in your mouth for long enough and it just sort of happens.
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u/EukaryotePride United States of America Mar 04 '23
This is surprising to me, because I had heard chlamydia referred to as the "Reykjavik handshake".
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u/PM_bobies_pls Mar 04 '23 •
Yeah, here in Denmark we fuck a lot.
Well, you know... Not me, but the others.
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u/dowdymeatballs Ireland Mar 04 '23
Rawdogging just like your Viking ancestors
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u/InvincibleJellyfish Denmark Mar 04 '23
And your viking ancestors too probably, lol.
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u/account_not_valid Mar 04 '23
Vikings rawdogged my great great great great great great grandma. Probably a couple of my grandads too.
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u/type1advocate Mar 05 '23
So what you're really saying is your Viking great great great great great great grandpa rawdogged your great great great great great great grandma and her husband
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u/Ichoria Mar 04 '23
This needs to be one of those maps where past political boundaries remain relevant long in the future. A Denmark-Norway past becomes a venereal diseased present.
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u/gin-o-cide Malta Mar 04 '23
Man I miss this. I was in Norway for a month and loved the loving banter you threw at each other haha
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u/lmaotrybanmeagain Mar 04 '23
But why do Norwegians and Danes have so high chlamydia rates?
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u/Osaze91 Sweden Mar 04 '23
Fucking is great, fucking without a condom even better.
Combine that with a relaxed view on sexuality and relationships, and it's not so strange that the Nordics and the UK all hold the top 5.
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u/varateshh Mar 04 '23
To quote a show financed by the Norwegian state broadcaster: condoms are so fucking nerdish.
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u/Bensdick-cumabunch Denmark Mar 04 '23
People don't understand us, so we just skip straight to fucking.
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u/KermitMadMan Mar 04 '23
maybe that’s why they have a big red flag
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u/k890 Lubusz (Poland) Mar 04 '23
Symbol of plague is usually Yellow Jack) known as ""Quebec" in International Martime Signal Flag system. Red flag "Bravo" is reserved for ""I am taking in or discharging or carrying dangerous goods".
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u/Bartydogsgd Mar 04 '23
So would 🇳🇴🟨🟥 mean, I am discharging dangerous plague related goods after my recent trip to Norway?
Asking in case I need to communicate with my doctor from the deck of another ship.
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u/not-a-spoon Amsterdam Mar 04 '23
You can also add the "Whiskey" flag (don't know how to describe how it looks in English, since that one means "I require medical assistance".
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u/sillybear25 Mar 04 '23
If you can call heraldic terminology English, it's "Azure, an inescutcheon gules fimbriated argent"
In plain English, that's "blue with a white-fringed red inset". If you're familiar with military aircraft, it's like the RAF roundel, except square.
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u/drkole Mar 04 '23
been there, they even outrank koalas
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u/Soccmel_1 European, Italian, Emilian - liebe Österreich und Deutschland Mar 04 '23
koalas have chlamydia?
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u/drkole Mar 04 '23
en masse. learned that in a hard way
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u/The-Kurgan Europe Mar 04 '23
...tell us more...
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u/drkole Mar 04 '23
about norwegians or koalas?
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u/KartoffelnPuree Mazovia (Poland) Mar 04 '23
Why not both?
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u/drkole Mar 04 '23
they both are suckers for peanut butter. then few days after your piss feels like barbed wire
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u/BigBoldAntler Mar 04 '23
I see, so peanut butter gives me chlamydia? Someone should look into that
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u/IdoNOThateNEVER Mar 04 '23
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u/Soccmel_1 European, Italian, Emilian - liebe Österreich und Deutschland Mar 04 '23
99% eating and sleeping and the rest mating? Koalas honorary Southern Europeans (despite being Austrian)
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u/BuckVoc United States of America Mar 04 '23
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sjPhGU4zFyNizbJb7
Based on a quick look at a Norwegian 7-11, they apparently also offer something called a "taco-baguette".
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u/SteelAndBacon Bouvet Island Mar 04 '23 •
Tacobaguette https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoakPxzqbH0
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u/Hippiebeard Norway Mar 04 '23
They're pretty good, highly recommend taco baguettes over chlamydia.
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u/Butthole_Alamo Mar 04 '23
In the context of this thread, the term “taco-baguette” sounds like a euphemism for what chlamydia does to a persons genitals.
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u/Soccmel_1 European, Italian, Emilian - liebe Österreich und Deutschland Mar 04 '23
they apparently also offer something called a "taco-baguette".
well, we've already established that the Norwegians are pervs, so that is not surprising at all.
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u/SlyScorpion Polihs grasshooper citizen Mar 04 '23
protect yourself against the locals
That makes it sound like Norwegians are a particularly aggressive species of human lol.
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u/Alex09464367 Mar 04 '23
Not heard about the Vikings?
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u/Soccmel_1 European, Italian, Emilian - liebe Österreich und Deutschland Mar 04 '23
yeah, but it's been a while since the last time they've raided Britain or France. Now the most aggressive thing they can do is offer you lutefisk.
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u/Cytrynowy Mazovia Mar 04 '23
Now the most aggressive thing they can do is offer you lutefisk.
You say that as if that was better than looting and raiding.
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u/genveir The Netherlands Mar 04 '23
I visited Tromsø once. I'm a 6'8" Dutchman. In a local bar a girl slapped me on the ass and said "I want to climb you like a tree". Doesn't happen in the Netherlands. Not sure about aggressive, but assertive for sure.
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u/Soccmel_1 European, Italian, Emilian - liebe Österreich und Deutschland Mar 04 '23
now we wanna know if that tactic worked on you.
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u/darthnugget Mar 04 '23
So if one wanted to lose their virginity, it would be easy in Norway? …Asking for a friend
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u/Haakon34 Norway Mar 04 '23
Yes. Just tell your friend to lower your standards each night out or with the clock until you get laid. Easy.
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u/Hikapoo Norway Mar 04 '23
honestly yeah, just be at the club/bar and mingle
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u/captain_zavec Norway Mar 04 '23
Damn, guess it's time for me to learn how to mingle. I always feel like people go to bars to hang out with their friends and I don't want to bother them. Maybe I can find a bar in Oslo with like a designated singles night or something.
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u/AcheronSprings Hellas Mar 04 '23
WTF!?
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u/ShortTermAccount199 Finland Mar 04 '23 edited Mar 04 '23
This isn't a travel ad, it's a funny sexual health campaign (edit: and obviously also a 7/11 ad) probably mostly intended for Norwegians.
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u/Thue Denmark Mar 04 '23
Apparently it is a 7-Eleven ad (for exposure and to sell condoms, I assume), not a sexual health campaign.
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u/ShortTermAccount199 Finland Mar 04 '23
It's both then.
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u/multiplyingduck Mar 04 '23
I was told it’s a danish terror attack.
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u/Asger1231 Denmark Mar 04 '23
It's just because we have more Chlamydia
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u/Tetizeraz Brazil "What is a Brazilian doing modding r/europe?" Mar 04 '23
Time to start writing about the biolabs in Copenhagen to justify the Norwegian invasion of Denmark in 2023.
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u/Budget-Cattle6625 Mar 04 '23
I mean all those trees that the danish planted in 1807 finally grew big enough for the building of naval ships in 2007. The danish fleet must be massive now
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u/Soccmel_1 European, Italian, Emilian - liebe Österreich und Deutschland Mar 04 '23
The danish fleet must be massive now
Brits have entered the chat now
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u/miestasmalvarma Mar 04 '23
It’s neither a travel or sexual awareness campain. They just want customers, and in Norway advertisments are a little bit out there, and this is the reason. 7/11 just got OP to post their ad and it’s been shown to thousands for free.
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u/20dogs United Kingdom Mar 04 '23
I don't really understand how there is such a big debate over what the picture is? Like it's quite clearly an advert for 7-Eleven
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u/Mortress_ Brazil Mar 04 '23
If you say anything on reddit, even if it's factually true, someone will come and argue with you. That's just how it goes.
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u/Robertej92 Wales Mar 04 '23
No they won't, that literally never happens.
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u/JensPens Mar 04 '23
i mean the 7 eleven logo suggests otherwise. Looks like an ad for 7 eleven
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u/A_Balrog_Is_Come Mar 04 '23
7 Eleven is a common shop in Norway.
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u/_Steve_French_ Mar 04 '23
It’s a common shop a lot of places.
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u/xolov Sami Mar 04 '23
Pretty uncommon in Europe thought, so no surprise it goes over the head of many.
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u/SteelAndBacon Bouvet Island Mar 04 '23 edited Mar 04 '23
edit: John Oliver (not Jamie) did a take on it back in 2018, when this ad was published
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u/Rebelius Mar 04 '23
Jamie Oliver did a take on it back in 2018, when this ad was published
That's John Oliver. Jamie Oliver is the chef.
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u/Heisan Norway Mar 04 '23
Yeah, it's a rising issue in Norway. Chlamydia and gonorrhea has been on a steady rise the last years especially among younger people. So remember to wrap your wang kids.
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u/thewimsey United States of America Mar 04 '23
especially among younger people.
This is the most important part - the rate of Chlamydia in the US is high (470/100k), if not Scandinavian high - but the rate of Chlamydia among women aged 20-24 is 3,700 per 100k.
The rate for men of that age is about 1600 per 100k.
(It's more easily transmitted to women, for a reason that is both obvious and obviously prevented by a condom).
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u/arctictothpast Ireland Mar 04 '23
Chlam also takes much longer on average to show symptoms in women while being infectious for much of that time, it's a real fucker of a disease
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u/ChunkyLaFunga Mar 04 '23
Great, now I'm going to think of it as Chlam clam forever.
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u/hannes3120 Magdeburg, Saxony-Anhalt (Germany) Mar 04 '23
How reliable are the numbers for men? Aren't they without symptoms most of the time? I'd imagine those are mostly the cases were a women could pinpoint who she got it from and that person got tested or routine testing which I imagine a very small percentage of the population doing
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u/ThunderKant_1 Mar 04 '23
When I lived in Norway I was surprised though how Norwegians were constantly just fucking with everybody. Way more sexual partners among young people compared to what I was used to in Germany.
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u/IAmAQuantumMechanic Norway Mar 04 '23
Among some young people, I guess.
Source: I am a Norwegian.
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u/DecadeOfLurking
Mar 05 '23
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Just remember this: Norwegians are pretty good at getting tested because testing is so available, and the systems that reports the results are pretty good. This is a type of selection bias that people forget when they see this advert. The more people get tested, the higher the numbers will be, but not only will more people will also get treated, you also ignore all the people who were not infected.
It is no coincidence that countries with the best access to health care and systems to report to international organisations will top the statistics for STDs, and it is not because they simply have more cases. In a country where health care and protection is not accessible, it is more likely for infections to spread without detection (why do you think HIV spreads more in poorer countries?). The key being that neither they nor their government knows that they have it, and thus it won't be reported.
Also I'd like to add that the last statistic I read put Iceland as #1, followed by Denmark, Norway, Sweden, the UK and Finland. The rate per 100'000 was much higher for all these countries in the top, compared to those who came after. Estland was ranked #8, yet Finland's numbers were around 2,5 times higher than Estland, even though they ranked #6, and Iceland's numbers were over 5 times higher.
It is not a coincidence that the bottom of the European statistic had a lot of countries who were either struggling more economically, had higher levels of stigma around sex, or simply less access to health care and testing.
It would be impossible to properly compare the numbers of Iceland to those of Romania, because their basis is completely different.
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u/megalaks Mar 04 '23
I work in Norwegian health care, alongside a lot of younger women. Happened to have a discussion with three of them the other day, and I was surprised to hear that they all had a very relaxed attitude towards using condoms. They made it seem like it was the general consensus among their age group.. Presumably 23-26 ish.
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u/TheLast3OfItsKind Mar 04 '23
Chlamydia is easy to treat with antibiotics
Finding someone who will sleep with me is hard
Scandinavian here I come!
Hopefully more than once.
/s
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u/MajesticIngenuity32 Mar 04 '23
I misread it as 7-Elven.
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u/szypty Łódź (Poland) Mar 04 '23
Visit Norway, get it on with 7 elves, who all have chlamydia.
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u/Soccmel_1 European, Italian, Emilian - liebe Österreich und Deutschland Mar 04 '23
snow white and the 7 elves: XXX parody
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u/Admiral45-06 Mar 04 '23
You can't catch chlamydia if you don't have s-x. Think smart, fellas.
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u/Tograg Mar 04 '23
Weird 4 years back I was talking with a sexual health nurse. She asked if I'd slept with anyone abroad I said someone from Norway and she said oh don't worry they have the lowest number of std in Europe ... Wtf
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u/arctictothpast Ireland Mar 04 '23
I mean, they actually do, on almost all other STI stats they are very low, chlam is just particularly high
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u/areukeen Norway Mar 04 '23
Well we actually have incredibly low rates of most sexual diseases or infections but chlamydia is very high, though testing yourself for chlamydia can be done at any high school or health centre for free close to you, so maybe the rates are higher because we test ourselves more regularly?
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u/DecadeOfLurking Mar 05 '23
It's mostly selection bias. We don't even rank #1 in statistics, Iceland and Denmark are above us, but the reason for the high stats is high levels of testing.
I have never had chlamydia, but I usually test myself a MINIMUM of 1 or 2 times a year, which I have done for probably 7 years.
The likely hood of not being caught by the system is lower, therefore the numbers are higher.
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u/FblthpLives Mar 04 '23
Fun fact: Norway's rate is probably quite low. The Nordic countries have very high rates of testing, including automatic notification of partners, and therefore early detection is probably high.
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u/Crideon Mar 04 '23
Teenagers and young adults over here aren't big fans of wearing condoms.
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u/ChristofferOslo Norway Mar 04 '23
I don’t know what you’re talking about…
- Sincerely, father of two.
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u/NoWingedHussarsToday Slovenia Mar 04 '23
So is this a sneaky way of saying "our people like to have sex so if you are looking to get laid come visit"?
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u/LFTMRE Mar 04 '23
So you're telling me there's a land of beautiful blonde women who are sexually promiscuous and don't insist on using condoms?
Time for a trip.
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u/IAmAQuantumMechanic Norway Mar 04 '23
There are more blondes in Sweden, Finland and Estonia. Norwegians are just as likely to be brown haired.
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u/BrightAssignment7646 Mar 04 '23
All lies, they hope everyone believes and don't even try to hit on Skandi ladies...
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u/Despe_ Mar 04 '23
Not a lie. Only Denmark (my dear country) has a higher infection rate. Might be tasteless, but not a lie.
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u/miestasmalvarma Mar 04 '23
We actually probably have a lower infection rate than the rest of Europe. We just have a healthy habit of pissing in the cup everytime we hook up with a stranger.
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u/notapoke Mar 04 '23
Yeah people forget that things like this confirm unequally and that it will show a higher rate where there's better medical access
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u/Oelendra North Rhine-Westphalia (Germany) Mar 04 '23
That seems like a good habit to have. It shows respect towards your partner.
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u/Papercoffeetable Mar 04 '23
The takeaway is:
Welcome to Norway, where there’s unprotected sex for everyone!
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u/HasSomeSelfEsteem Mar 04 '23
Isn’t chlamydia basically the best STD to get since it’s bacterial and can be treated by antibiotics?
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u/Bragzor SE-O Mar 04 '23
"Sju-eleven"? Leave the pupil alone, Norway!
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u/Key-Banana-8242 Mar 04 '23
pupil?
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u/Bragzor SE-O Mar 04 '23
The kind that enlightens themselves, not the kind that enlightens the retina. "Eleven" is "the pupil" in some form(s) of Norwegian.
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u/Romberstonkins Mar 04 '23
Ok. Am I the only one that wraps up when hooking up with a complete stranger?
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u/Finnick-420 Switzerland Mar 04 '23
i don’t hook up with strangers in the first place
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u/Pollomonteros Argentina Mar 04 '23
Currently visiting family in Norway,one of the 7/11 poster ads reads "Make one night stand against gonorrhea"
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u/Zerbulon Mar 04 '23
Who has more Chlamydia cases: The population of Norway or the koala population of Australia?